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Jia Offline
#1 Posted : Saturday, December 20, 2008 11:23:21 AM(UTC)

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Police Inspector: Have you caught the thief?
Hawaldar: No, but I found some trace of him.
Police Inspector: What?
Hawaldar: Finger prints.
Police Inspector: Where?
Hawaldar: On my cheeks.


وَقُل رَّبِّ ٱرۡحَمۡهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِى صَغِيرً۬ا
اے میرے رب جس طرح انہوں(والدین) نے مجھے بچپن سےپالا ہے اسی طرح تو بھی ان پر رحم فرما
( سورة بنیٓ اسرآئیل / الإسرَاء آیت 24
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Jia Offline
#2 Posted : Saturday, December 20, 2008 11:25:24 AM(UTC)

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A man and his wife were walking on a busy street. Coming to a corner a begger shouted out to the lady:
"Oh sundari!!! andhha huu. sawa panch rupya de de" (Oh beautiful!! I am blind give me five and a quarter rupees)

At once her husband told her: "de de, de de, tujhhe sundari bola hai to har haal me ye andhha hi hai!!" (Give him what he asks, If he thinks you are beautiful then there is no doubt that he is blind!!)


وَقُل رَّبِّ ٱرۡحَمۡهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِى صَغِيرً۬ا
اے میرے رب جس طرح انہوں(والدین) نے مجھے بچپن سےپالا ہے اسی طرح تو بھی ان پر رحم فرما
( سورة بنیٓ اسرآئیل / الإسرَاء آیت 24
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Jia Offline
#3 Posted : Saturday, December 20, 2008 11:26:27 AM(UTC)

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sardar:maths which fail kyun hoyan?
son:kadi teacher kehndi ae 5+3=8
agle din kehndi ae 6+2=8
phir kehndi ae 4+4=8 . . . . . .
duffer nu aap hi confirm nahi menu ki sikhana see.


وَقُل رَّبِّ ٱرۡحَمۡهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِى صَغِيرً۬ا
اے میرے رب جس طرح انہوں(والدین) نے مجھے بچپن سےپالا ہے اسی طرح تو بھی ان پر رحم فرما
( سورة بنیٓ اسرآئیل / الإسرَاء آیت 24
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Jia Offline
#4 Posted : Saturday, December 20, 2008 11:29:36 AM(UTC)

Rank: The KP Queen

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Was thanked: 18 time(s) in 17 post(s)

Santa apni gal friend ko I Luv kehta hai aur gir jata hai.
Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: I'm falling in love.

 

 

Sardar: Bhagwan mujhe dard de,
Dukh de,
tention de,
mujhe barbad kar de,
mere piche BHoot laga de,

Bhagwan: Abe ullo ek line me bol ke biwi chahiye.

 


Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed


Professor:Chemical symbol of Barium?
Sardar: BA
Professor:For sodium?
Sardar: NA
Professor:What will we get if 1 atom of BA
& 2 atoms of NA combined?
Sardar: BANANA

 

 


وَقُل رَّبِّ ٱرۡحَمۡهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِى صَغِيرً۬ا
اے میرے رب جس طرح انہوں(والدین) نے مجھے بچپن سےپالا ہے اسی طرح تو بھی ان پر رحم فرما
( سورة بنیٓ اسرآئیل / الإسرَاء آیت 24
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Jia Offline
#5 Posted : Saturday, December 20, 2008 11:32:18 AM(UTC)

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Was thanked: 18 time(s) in 17 post(s)

Hitler says,
“There is no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary”
Sardar says:Ab bolne se kiya fayidah?
“Jub kharidi thi tab hi check karna tha na”

 


A sardarji aur biwi ek taxi main baith tey hain.

Taxi waala ghaur ghaur sey sardarji ki biwi ko taar ta rahta hai.

Sardarji ko barra ghussa aata aur kehtey hain:
"gaari roko. abb tum peechey betho aur mein gaari chalonga."

 

TEACHER to STUDENT: Sach or Wehem main kya farq hai

STUDENT: Teacher aap humen parha rahi hain yeh sach hai.

TEACHER to STUDENT: Or Wehem

STUDENT: Or hum par rahe hain yeh aap ka wehem hai 

 

 

 

 


وَقُل رَّبِّ ٱرۡحَمۡهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِى صَغِيرً۬ا
اے میرے رب جس طرح انہوں(والدین) نے مجھے بچپن سےپالا ہے اسی طرح تو بھی ان پر رحم فرما
( سورة بنیٓ اسرآئیل / الإسرَاء آیت 24
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jazzy Offline
#6 Posted : Saturday, December 20, 2008 3:41:40 PM(UTC)

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oh jia u made my dayu joker u ve really mad eme laugh nice jokes
ALLAH HU AKBAR
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samia1 Offline
#7 Posted : Saturday, December 20, 2008 7:51:40 PM(UTC)

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very nice jia! maza aaya parh ker. aap kahan hoti ho or kiay kerti ho? or meri tarf se ik aap k liye

teacher to sardar: what is the difference between landline and mobile phone?
sardar: landline per hum ungli se dial kerte hain or mobile per thumb se.

samia
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samia1 Offline
#8 Posted : Saturday, December 20, 2008 7:53:42 PM(UTC)

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ik machar ik ladki ki coke me gir gaya.

ladki ne us ko jaise hi drink se nikala to wo bola.......MAAA

ladki ne pooocha me tumhari maa kese hui?

machar bola mein teri COKE se nikla hoon......MAA
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Shiza Offline
#9 Posted : Saturday, December 20, 2008 9:45:32 PM(UTC)

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Samia e jo aapne secondwali joke likhi woh padhkar itni hasin aayi,,,,,,,,,,,,,bahut achhi hai
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ayesha khalid Offline
#10 Posted : Sunday, December 21, 2008 2:42:26 AM(UTC)

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jazzy ,jia k jokes sey yaqeenan tumharey pait mein dard hho gaya ho ga.......and jia allrounder .khush raho.
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Jia Offline
#11 Posted : Sunday, December 21, 2008 5:01:41 AM(UTC)

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Was thanked: 18 time(s) in 17 post(s)

ayesha khalid wrote:
jazzy ,jia k jokes sey yaqeenan tumharey pait mein dard hho gaya ho ga.......and jia allrounder .khush raho.

 

hmmm jokes pe hunsi ajaye it means wo really coool joke tha

Ayesha g thanks alot mujhe All Rounder kehnay ka + dua denay k lye bhi many thnx...

u r so sweetooo


وَقُل رَّبِّ ٱرۡحَمۡهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِى صَغِيرً۬ا
اے میرے رب جس طرح انہوں(والدین) نے مجھے بچپن سےپالا ہے اسی طرح تو بھی ان پر رحم فرما
( سورة بنیٓ اسرآئیل / الإسرَاء آیت 24
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Jia Offline
#12 Posted : Sunday, December 21, 2008 1:47:45 PM(UTC)

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Was thanked: 18 time(s) in 17 post(s)

Wife: Wo samay jo admi drink ker raha hai,
usko main nay 10 saal pehlay shadi k
liye inkaar kia tha.
Aaj tak sharab pee raha hay!

Husband: Wow! itni lambi celebration!


A person who surrenders when he’s WRONG,
is HONEST.
A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE,
is WISE.
A person who surrenders even if he’s RIGHT,
is a HUSBAND.!


 Wife: Last nght I saw a dream tat u wer
sending me jewellery & clothes!
Husband: Yeah, I saw ur dad paying d bill.


Before marriage:
Roses are red, sky is blue,
O my darling! I love you…

After Marriage:
Roses are dead,
I have flu,
don’t come near me,
Paray hatt tuu,

 

 

Custome: Ye Bakra kitne ka hai?

Salesman: 500 Rs.

Customer: Itna sasta!

Salesman: China ka hai....

Koi gurantee nahi, ho sakta hai kal bhonkna shroo kar de...

 

aGr 1 FamiLy k..

WaLDen baChoN sE,


BachAy WaLdain Se,


B.v Shohar Se,


Bahoo SaAs Se,

Nand Bhabi Se,


Behnoi saALay sE,

Susar Daamad Se,


JhoOT BoLaIn..


To aIsi fAmILy kO Kya KahAin gE?
> Simple



 

Star Plus

 


وَقُل رَّبِّ ٱرۡحَمۡهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِى صَغِيرً۬ا
اے میرے رب جس طرح انہوں(والدین) نے مجھے بچپن سےپالا ہے اسی طرح تو بھی ان پر رحم فرما
( سورة بنیٓ اسرآئیل / الإسرَاء آیت 24
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Jia Offline
#13 Posted : Sunday, December 21, 2008 1:54:43 PM(UTC)

Rank: The KP Queen

Groups: Member, Moderators
Joined: 11/30/2008(UTC)
Posts: 5,993
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Woman
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Thanks: 16 times
Was thanked: 18 time(s) in 17 post(s)

A B C D E F G H I J K . . . .

A - U’r Attractive
B - U’r D Best
C - U’r Cute
D - U’r Dear 2 me
E - U’r Excellent
F - U’r Funny
G - U’r Gud Looking
H - He He He
I - I’m
J - Just
K - Kidding

 

 

 

Study=Fail..[Proved !!!]

(Eq.1)------: Study=Dont Fail.

(Eq.2):----- Dont Study=Fail.

........Adding Eq 1&2......

Study+Dont Study=Fail+Dont Fail.

.......Taking Common.......

Study(1+Dont)=Fail(1+Dont).

.....Cut "(1+Dont)" On Both Side.

Solution:

Study=Fail.

HENCE PROVED...


وَقُل رَّبِّ ٱرۡحَمۡهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِى صَغِيرً۬ا
اے میرے رب جس طرح انہوں(والدین) نے مجھے بچپن سےپالا ہے اسی طرح تو بھی ان پر رحم فرما
( سورة بنیٓ اسرآئیل / الإسرَاء آیت 24
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jazzy Offline
#14 Posted : Sunday, December 21, 2008 3:16:49 PM(UTC)

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u r jowka really nice joke made me laugh chilling after having lots of dawaten in it? jia khush raho
ALLAH HU AKBAR
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Shiza Offline
#15 Posted : Monday, December 22, 2008 2:49:01 AM(UTC)

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Jia u r doing nice job dear,,, all good stuff
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Jia Offline
#16 Posted : Monday, December 22, 2008 1:07:18 PM(UTC)

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Was thanked: 18 time(s) in 17 post(s)
thnxAngel

وَقُل رَّبِّ ٱرۡحَمۡهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِى صَغِيرً۬ا
اے میرے رب جس طرح انہوں(والدین) نے مجھے بچپن سےپالا ہے اسی طرح تو بھی ان پر رحم فرما
( سورة بنیٓ اسرآئیل / الإسرَاء آیت 24
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Jia Offline
#17 Posted : Monday, December 22, 2008 1:12:18 PM(UTC)

Rank: The KP Queen

Groups: Member, Moderators
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Posts: 5,993
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Woman
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Was thanked: 18 time(s) in 17 post(s)

Software engineer and his wife

Husband - hey dear, I am logged in.

Wife - would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - hard disk full.

Wife - have you brought the saree.
Husband - Bad command or file name.

Wife - but I told you about it in morning
Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.

Wife - hae bhagwan !forget it where's your salary.
Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time.

Wife - at least give me your credit card, I can do some shopping.
Husband - sharing violation, access denied.

Wife - I made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband - data type mismatch.

Wife - you are useless.
Husband - by default.


وَقُل رَّبِّ ٱرۡحَمۡهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِى صَغِيرً۬ا
اے میرے رب جس طرح انہوں(والدین) نے مجھے بچپن سےپالا ہے اسی طرح تو بھی ان پر رحم فرما
( سورة بنیٓ اسرآئیل / الإسرَاء آیت 24
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Jia Offline
#18 Posted : Monday, December 22, 2008 1:17:20 PM(UTC)

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love Reason why never visit a 5 Star Hotel !!

Question : "What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate,
Milo, or Coffee?"
Answer : "Tea please"
Question : " Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or
green tea ?"
Answer : "Ceylon tea "
Question : "How would you like it ? black or white ?"
Answer : "White"
Question : "Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk ?"
Answer: "With milk "
Question : "Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk"
Answer : "With cow milk please.
Question : " Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?"
Answer : " Um, I'll take it black. "
Question : " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?"
Answer : "With sugar"
Question : " Beet sugar or Cane sugar ?"
Answer : "Cane sugar "
Question :" White , brown or yellow sugar ?"
Answer : "Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead."
Question: "Mineral water or Still water ? "
Answer : "Mineral water"
Question : "Flavored or non-flavored ?"
Answer : "I'll rather die of thirst


وَقُل رَّبِّ ٱرۡحَمۡهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِى صَغِيرً۬ا
اے میرے رب جس طرح انہوں(والدین) نے مجھے بچپن سےپالا ہے اسی طرح تو بھی ان پر رحم فرما
( سورة بنیٓ اسرآئیل / الإسرَاء آیت 24
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Jia Offline
#19 Posted : Monday, December 22, 2008 1:24:17 PM(UTC)

Rank: The KP Queen

Groups: Member, Moderators
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Woman
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Was thanked: 18 time(s) in 17 post(s)

May I know the time please?!


Young Man: Sir, may I know the time, please?

Old Man: Certainly not.

Young Man: Sir, but why? What are you going to loose, if you tell me the time?

Old Man: Yes, I may loose something if I tell you the time.

Young Man: But Sir, can you tell me how?

Old Man: See, if I tell you the time you will definitely thank me and may be tomorrow again you will ask me the time.

Young Man: Quite possible.

Old Man: May be we meet two three times more and you will ask my name and address.

Young Man: Quite possible.

Old Man: One day you may come to my house saying you were just passing by and came into wish me. Then as a courtesy, I will offer you a cup of tea. After my courteous approach you will try to come again. This time you will appreciate tea and ask who has made it.?

Young Man: Possible

Old Man: made it Then I will tell you that my daughter has and I will then have to introduce my young and pretty daughter to you &; you will admire my daughter.

Young Man: Smiles. Angel


Old Man: My daughter may start liking you and start waiting for you. After meeting regularly you will fall in love with her and propose her for marriage.

Young Man: Smiles Angel

Old Man: One day both of you will come to me and tell me about your love and ask for my permission.

Young Man: Oh Yes! And smiles Angel

Old Man: (Angrily) Young man, I will never marry my daughter to a person like you who does not even own a watch.


وَقُل رَّبِّ ٱرۡحَمۡهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِى صَغِيرً۬ا
اے میرے رب جس طرح انہوں(والدین) نے مجھے بچپن سےپالا ہے اسی طرح تو بھی ان پر رحم فرما
( سورة بنیٓ اسرآئیل / الإسرَاء آیت 24
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Jia Offline
#20 Posted : Monday, December 22, 2008 1:30:14 PM(UTC)

Rank: The KP Queen

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Confusion:.
Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan?

Operator: Yes, you can speak to me.

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!

Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak to me. Who is this?

Caller: I'm Sam Wan. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?

Caller: Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.

Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I'm Saw Ree.

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!

Operator: That's what I said. I'm Saw Ree.  

 


وَقُل رَّبِّ ٱرۡحَمۡهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِى صَغِيرً۬ا
اے میرے رب جس طرح انہوں(والدین) نے مجھے بچپن سےپالا ہے اسی طرح تو بھی ان پر رحم فرما
( سورة بنیٓ اسرآئیل / الإسرَاء آیت 24
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